Testimony v. Conversion - Monday, June 23, 2014

Family!

This week was an emotional roller coaster. This last Friday, we had our farewell conference for President and Sister Killpack. Holy cow was that the saddest thing I have ever had to go through. The spirit was so strong as I listened to their final testimonies. I couldn't even sing the last Hymn "Till We Meet Again" because of the emotions and the spirit I was feeling. When I feel the spirit I'm a huge cry baby, it's awful! After the Conference I went up to President Killpack, and I tried so hard to hold back my tears, but I couldn't, it sucked! But I was able to mumble out how thankful I was for him and how he helped me change my life. He gave me a huge hug. It was pretty scary. He's a pretty big guy. He told me to keep going, that I was on the right track, and that he was proud of me. President Killpack is the most Christ like person I have ever met. He is a spiritual giant, but is hilarious, and outgoing. I'm going to miss the Killpacks so much. I can't tell you how much they have affected me and how much they have helped me change my life. Missions are full of goodbyes, but I know I'll see the Killpacks again. We have a reunion every October. So right after I get home next year, there will be a reunion in Delta I think. I can't wait. I got a picture of Sister Killpack cutting my tie. She's awesome!

President and Sister Passey are coming in next Monday. It's going to be very different. I feel like a huge chapter of my mission has come to a close and I'm ready to embrace the new one. Next Friday we have our first Zone Conference with him, and then we have our one on one interviews. I'm looking forward to it. 

Yesterday in church I learned the difference between a testimony and conversion. A testimony are things that we know to be true, but conversion is when we actually live it and see the blessings then. For example, we know we should eat healthily and excercise. It's a universal truth, but do we all do it? Nope. It takes dedication, and hard work. The same is true for the Gospel. I have had a testimony my whole life. I have never doubted that the Gospel is true, but have never truly been converted. I believe it has taken me getting on my mission to start the conversion process. Conversion is a life long journey, and there are inevitable ups and downs. For example, on Friday at the Zone Conference I felt the spirit probably more than I have ever felt before. That day I had a true and sincere desire to do the Lord's work - and love it. Then on Saturday, we talked to four people in a row who were completely set out on convincing us that there was now way there is a God. They used every logic and every reason they could to denounce the existance of a God. They were preaching at us!!! All of them! I couldn't believe what I was hearing. They mocked and spat on our testimonies and tried to stop my conversion. I felt hopeless., but while they were blaspheming, I just prayed and prayed, and held on to my faith. At the last person, I was able to stop them and bear my testimony. I don't think I have ever speken so boldly and with conviction as I did then. It didn't change their mind, and I walked away in total bewilderment, but I knew that I had become stronger. I felt like Satan and his armies were targeting me. I felt the spirit so strongly the day before, and the next day, Satan tried to destroy it. However, because I held on and stood true to the faith, I feel much stronger.

I feel like that is the process of conversion. We will face terrible challenges in this life, but we CAN overcome them! It's incredible! When we do, we are stronger for it! I thought I should share that experience with you! I hope all is going well at home! I love you all! Have a great week!